"So! Next question! This one is from Mikey in Anaheim..." He stops. "Mikey? Really?" he asks, suspiciously.
Babs rolls her eyes and softly sings, "M I _ K E Y."
"Ahem!" Buster continues, regaining his composure. "So, 'Mikey' writes, 'Dear Buster and Babs, I know you're Warner Brothers toons, but have you ever been to Disneyland? If so, how did it go, and what parts did you like?"
Babs: Well, MIKEy.... there are benefits to being toons associated with Spielberg. One of which is anytime there's a theme park ride associated with one of his movies then we all get to go for a field trip!
Buster: Yeah, who better to be the first to test thrill rides that could kill people than toons!
This dawns on Buster & Babs so they pause to think about this. Both of them shrug it off and they continue to answer.
Babs: We got a free day at Universal Studios Hollywood when they put in that Jurassic Park ride...
Buster uses the remote to cue the clip. Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Fievel (from American Tale) and other Spielberg toons are floating in the boat on the ride. It leans to one side as they all gather on one end of the boat to avoid Elmyra.
Elmyra: All of my fuzzy friends are here to play with me!!! *GASP*! Lookit the dino heads!!
As she jumps out of the boat it nearly capsizes, but the toons quickly balance it as they go along the track. Elmyra jumps from anamatronic dino to anamatronic dino barely missing their automated teeth snaps. She crawls on top of a T-Rex head and spots the toons in the boat floating towards her.
Elmyra: Hey, my new scally friend. Can you lower me down so I can hug the fuzzy heads!
the Warners scrunch in their seats at this threat. The T-Rex's head bobs dangerously close to the boat as it buckles under Elmyra's weight. It teeters for a bit, then CRASH! The neck snaps off taking Elmyra down with it, crashing the track and the building creating a 85 foot drop from the show building.
The boat and Elmyra zoom to the earth as they all scream in terror! ...and splash harmlessly in the overflow lake below. The toons crawl out of the boat & meet up with Steven & a developer of the ride.
Hampton: That was the scariest thing ever!!
Dot: And I'm all wet!
Steven turns to the developer.
Steven: Hmm... You know, leave the drop & make it a waterfall. Fix the T-Rex, but leave the drop in. I like it!
Back in the studio, Buster stops the tape.
Babs: And now you know... the rest of the
Buster: What did we say about quoting that line?!?
Babs sticks her tongue out at him.
Buster: But to answer your question, we did go to Disneyland twice with Steven earlier. Once for the opening the Roger Rabbit Car-Toon Spin in "ToonTown"...
Babs: ... which is soooo accurate to the real place! NOT!
Buster: And Roger would not stop talking!
Babs does a spin take into a Roger costume.
Babs: (as Roger) Hey! We're all rabbits! We should be best friends!! P-p-p-p-p-pleeease!!!!
Buster: Creepy! And Jessica was NOWHERE to be seen!
Babs spins back.
Babs: Why would that matter?
Buster: Uh...well.... I-I feel it's only professional...
Babs: Uh huh...
Buster: If the ENTIRE cast of something make a show for an industry premiere. It's only polite.
Buster grins sheepishly for a sec then turns back to camera.
Buster: And the other time was for the opening of his Indiana Jones Ride...
Babs: ...wouldn't spring to send us to Disney World for the Indy show though.
Buster cues the tape. Buster is in full Indy costume from his one parody episode and Babs, Hampton & Plucky wait in line. There are spikes coming out from the walls and parts of the ceiling are held up with poles of "bamboo". Hampton is clearly worried by the theme of the queue. Babs turns to Buster.
Babs: You're really into this aren't you?
Buster: Why not? We must explore this temple of riches that no one has ever seen or been in before!
Plucky: except for the 200 people in line in front of us!
He leans against the one lone bamboo pole that's reachable from the queue. It "gives way" triggering loud noises & flashing lights to simulate the ceiling coming down. Hampton freaks out & cowers under Plucky. The noises stop and the lights return to normal. The pole slowly returns to it's upright position. Hampton's teeth chatter as he crawls out from under his friend.
Babs: oooh! This dark ride might actually do something other than sing at you!
The scene blurs and the sound of a tape being sped up is head. We hear Buster back at the studio:
Buster: eh, that was the only highlight there. Now to the actual attraction!
The scene resumes it's normal speed. Buster is now in the driver's seat. Next to him sits Babs, Hampton & Plucky is on the end of the isle. Buster fully embraces his role as they enter the first room pretending to steer the nailed down steering wheel.
Buster: Forward! We must explore this delicate and ancient temple in the most destructive vehicle we can find!
The toons look around and see that the first room is themed to riches this time around. Plucky goes nuts.
Plucky: Look at all that gold! Forget this seat belt, I'm heading there!!
Hampton: Plucky! You're supposed to keep your hands, arms, feet & legs*
inside the car at all times!
Babs: Didn't say anything about heads!
She leans her head outside the car but the turbulence of the ride causes her to hit her head.
Plucky shrugs Hampton off & jumps out of the car. He climbs up the side to get the riches but only finds...
Plucky: Smoke & mirrors! Peh! Happiest place on earth MY FOOT!
He hops back in his seat.
Radio in car: Remember, do NOT look into the eyes of the idol!
Buster: Eh, what's a little peek going to hurt?
Buster stares dumbfounded into the idol letting go of the steering wheel, tongue out & drooling.
Idol: Look into my eyes...
Hampton: Buster, no! The radio said not to!
The ride takes off & speeds around a corner "out of control". Hampton grips the car in fear.
Babs: (unenthusiastically) Oh, no. Something has unexpectedly gone wrong. Whatever shall we do?
Indy anamatronic: You had to look, didn't you?!
Buster: Yeah, pretty much!
Plucky: Like it'd make a difference! What are they gonna do if you don't? stop the ride?
Indy anamatronic: Take a left! It's your only way out!
Buster looks at the track ahead.
Buster: Nah... I feel more like going right.
Sure enough the track heads to the right.
Hampton: Buster, what are you doing?!
Plucky: Oh, he's done it now! Those idols are mad!
Babs picks up on Plucky's teasing & decides to join in.
Babs: Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if that big one shot a laser right out of his eye while we drive over this unsteady rope bridge that could NEVER normally hold a car this size or weight so we'd fall right into the lava pit!!
Hampton: THEY CAN DO THAT?!?!?!?!!!
Just then a beam of light shines out of the eye onto the "draw bridge" they're driving on. a poorly timed ball of fireworks shoots out from under the bridge & the car rocks - terrifying Hampton.
Buster picks up on the fun. and lets go of the "wheel".
Buster: Look, Hammy, no hands!
They turn the corner and see another Indy anamatronic suspended from a rope from the ceiling.
Buster: Hey, buddy. Need a lift? Or rather a down, I guess.
Babs: Why should we? He didn't help us at all!
Rumble noises are heard. Lights shine on a huge boulder heading their way.
Indy anamatronic: Uh oh! Back up! Back up!
the car begins to back up.
Babs: I don't think that's going to be our best course of action. the boulder's going this way.
Buster: You're right! FORWARD!
Hampton: No!! He said go back!
Indy: Get me outta here!
Hampton: Save him!
Plucky: Forget it! He left us to die back there! He can rot for all I care!!
Buster: Agreed! FORWARD!
the car lunges forward under the boulder into a tunnel under it. A huge CRASH! is heard.
Babs: We should at least check on the guy.
the car slows down & turns a corner revealing Indy standing next to a crashed boulder wiping his brow.
Indy: Not bad... for tourists.
Buster: Tourist?! I'll have you know I'm a Spielberg licensed parody!
Back at the studio Buster stops the tape.
Buster: I hate to admit it, but that time was a lot of fun.
Hampton (off screen yelling): WAS NOT!!!
Buster & Babs snicker to themselves. We hear a phone ring. Babs pulls out her phone. She reads the message then spins into a news reporter.
Babs: This just in: Mikey wants to know, how come he's never seen us or any other toons in the park.
Buster: How'd he get your number?
Babs: I thought Fifi had rabid fanboys... ugh!
Buster: First of all Mikey, LOOSE MY GIRLFRIEND'S NUMBER & secondly, have you seen what those humans do to toons in theme parks?!
Babs: We know all about it!
She grabs the remote from Buster & commences a slide show of the Tiny Toons at Disneyland posing politely with a walk-around, getting autographs of walk-arounds (Max trying to get "Scrooge" to sign a check), pointing & laughing at the walk-around, putting bunny ears on a Mickey walk-around, kicking a walk-around, spraying silly string on a walk-around, Arnold squishing one into a ball & using it to play a game with, Dizzy trying to eat a walk-around, Elmyra squeezing the stuffing out of everyone, etc). Back to the studio.
Buster: Yeah, no fun for the "celebrity". But you know those days when you spend all that money to get into the park only to find out it's closing a 5pm instead of midnight? Those are the special event days WE get to attend the park! Or... we did until those photos were discovered by park security...
Babs: Well, YOU may not be allowed in Disneyland, but Wakko & I can go whenever we want!
Babs: We did Disney a solid. Br'er Rabbit lost his voice after years of chain smoking before taping those songs for Splash Mountain & Wakko filled in. Listen to it! It's him! You can really tell in that Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah song. And I stood in for Gadget when her ride got a voice over since she was too busy rescuing people with that group of hers.
He starts to cue a clip.
Babs: No, don't go to a clip!!!
Too late. The video plays Babs getting on the Go-Coaster. She gleefully perks her ear to hear the spiel she recorded.
Babs: (over the speaker doing an impression of Gadget) Hi! This is Gadget! Please remain seated...
Guy in car behind Babs: Sheesh! That doesn't sound like Gadget at all! What did Disney do? cheap out for an impersonator?!
Babs fumes as the ride begins. When the ride gets to the squirting frogs part Babs perks up & holds her arms out at just the right angle so that the water bounces off & hits the guy behind her square in the mouth.
The video ends. Babs stands there arms crossed while Buster giggles.
Buster: So ya got ONE bad review. Big deal! I bet Disney paid ya well.
Babs: True... So what's our next question?
Buster: "Broken in Baltimore" writes, "I can't go out to play because I have a broken arm and it made me wonder if Toons can get broken arms or anything. Sometimes it looks like you guys can do everything without being hurt at all, but then other times those anvils on Plucky's head look like they hurt!"
---* historical inaccuracy for a joke. they said "hands and arms" at the time of the Indy ride premiere. It wasn't until semi-recently that they added "legs and feet" to the spiel